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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28756497">Who We Were Before</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcschauer/pseuds/bcschauer'>bcschauer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone Needs Therapy, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Iruma Miu &amp; Oma Kokichi Friendship, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, Roommates, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Virtual Reality, except for like 2 people, kokichi protection squad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28756497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcschauer/pseuds/bcschauer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"And they were roommates."<br/>"Oh my god they were roommates."</p><p>When the survivors of the 53rd season of Danganronpa wake up to find that the game was all virtual reality, and that all of their friends are still alive, they all face many different challenges. For Shuichi Saihara, most of these challenges involve a certain Kokichi Ouma, who he finds lounging on the couch in the apartment they shared together before the game. Turns out their past selves were childhood friends who eventually fell in love and had been in a rather serious relationship before joining the game. Will Kokichi's lingering crush on the detective and their slowly returning memories of the past become the downfall of their newfound friendship, or will it spark something more?</p><p>This fic was heavily inspired by the fic "Second Chances" on AO3 by Lethargic_Lilac. It's a really good read and I highly recommend it. I hope you'll all enjoy my own personal take on the idea.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Alive?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi stood as tall as he could, facing the broken wall surrounding the Ultimate Academy. His legs threatened to give out from under him, Maki holding him up to keep him from collapsing to the ground. It wasn't until he saw the light of the world beyond the dome that he really began to realize what had happened. Tsumugi was gone for good, her sick and twisted games would bother the world no more. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The killing game.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The unspoken words sent shivers down Shuichi's spine. It had only been a couple weeks since they were all trapped in the Ultimate Academy, forced to battle for their lives and execute their own friends. 16 had entered, and now only 3 would leave.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi glanced down at his companions. They had come a long way together. As morbid as it seemed, defeating Tsumugi had brought them closer. He could even have sworn that Maki gave him a small smile, though pointing such a thing out would most likely get him killed before he could even escape the academy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Team Danganronpa better provide free therapy sessions when we get out of here."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi and Himiko laughed at Maki's remark, nodding their agreement as they all took each other's hand (even Maki surprisingly).</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi suddenly couldn't will himself to move, his feet planted firmly on the ground as he started shaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I have to do this. For everyone we lost along the way, for all that crap we went through, and for her</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>For Kaede.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I made it Kaede. We escaped. Me, Himiko and Maki. We did it. We avenged you and all the others.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We did it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And so, hand in hand, the ultimate assassin, the ultimate detective, and the ultimate mage made their way towards the broken wall. The barrier that separated them from the world they had left behind. They had no idea what was waiting for them on the other side, but they had each other, they had the memories of everyone they had lost along the way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And that was enough.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>——————</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first thing Shuichi noticed when he opened his eyes were the bright lights shining above him. Through the blinding light he could vaguely make out bright white walls, various pieces of medical equipment, and could feel an IV in place in his arm. He was too weak to move his  head but could tell that he definitely wasn't in his normal clothes, the scratchy cloth touching his body was evidence enough of that. No ultimate detective skills needed there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn't sure how long it was until the door opened, a tall man in a doctor's coat illuminated by the bright lights. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Ahh Mr. Saihara. You're finally awake. Well I suppose I should introduce myself. The name is Dr. Kimura I'm one of the head doctors here at Team Danganronpa. You seem to be in good health due to the nature of your survival in the game, so as long as your vitals stay steady until tomorrow morning, you'll be free to go to your room. Most of the others have returned to their homes by now, we do have top notch medical staff after all. We plan to keep you here in the facility until Himiko, and Maki wake up then you 3 will be attending a brief meeting to help you get situated with your new life. In the meantime we've set aside rooms for each one of you that contain the belongings your old selves brought with them, as well as some basic documents such as your birth certificate, phone numbers for therapists, and directions to your home. You got all that kiddo?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was official. Shuichi Saihara had died. Or gone crazy. All he knew was that this guy was off his rocker.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Wha-"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh of course, nobody's briefed you have they? Oh well I suppose I should explain then huh? Well obviously you know about Team Danganronpa correct?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Well of course there's no way our show could be so popular with such a high rate of death. So we made a solution that made you die, but not at the same time. Before we threw you all into the game, we installed a simple small device in your brain that would cause a total coma moments before death occurred. The device stops all bodily action, such as brain and heart functions, allowing the team a small window of time were we could get the victim into ICU to make them good as new. A painstaking process yes, but an effective one nonetheless."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi just elected to stay quiet. It was clear this doctor was enjoying himself explaining everything, and Shuichi definitely didn't want to bother someone with quick access to needles and dangerous chemicals. Especially not after all he had been through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"... chip was just removed from your brain hence why you're hooked up to all this junk. You'll have a decent headache for a few days but nothing major. Feel free to ask for pain management if you need it. We do have the best doctors here after all."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"So... you're saying that all my friends from the game are actually still alive?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The doctor simply let out a huge sigh, a look of boredom obvious on his stoic face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wow, that whole speech about top notch medical technology and you're focused on that little detail. Yes all of your friends are okay, we were able to revive all of them. It's been a long time since Team Danganronpa has been able to revive every single participant, so consider yourselves very lucky. Though you certainly didn't do us any favors with that purple haired gremlin and the short one with the massive eyes and inferiority complex. Both of them took significantly longer to heal than the others, even with our top notch medical skills. The purple one was only released this morning. Nonetheless, everyone is alive."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi wasn't even sure he heard half of the nutty doctor's speech. His thoughts were far far away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She's alive </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Kaede is alive, she's okay.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone is okay.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Most of the others have gone home by now but someone from your group insisted she stay here until you woke up. I don't know why but we're not the people to ignore our players' wishes after all they've gone through. I'll let her know you're awake. She'll be delighted to see you again."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The doctor swiftly turned on her heels and walked out of the room without a word. Shuichi couldn't breathe. The heart monitor by his bed skyrocketed as he processed the doctor's words. Someone had stayed behind to see him. It had to be her. It had to be. He firmly pushed his excitement and nerves down, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths until the monitor slowed its pace. Suddenly a soft smooth voice snapped him out of his stupor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I promised I'd get you all out of there alive didn't I?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi's eyes snapped open, fighting back tears as he lifted his head towards the voice. She was here. She was alive. He couldn't believe it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Are... are you real?" His voice was hoarse and shaky.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kaede didn't say another word, she simply stepped forward and took his hand, giving him a smile so warm he suddenly wasn't scared of anything anymore. He let his tears flow freely, sobs racking his body as he mustered all the strength he could to lift his body into her arms in a crushing hug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I couldn't *hic* d-do it. *hic* I couldn't save them. I-"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Shhhh Shuichi it's okay. We're all okay. You saved us all by defeating Tsumugi. Nobody blames you for any of this." She slowly separated from him, hand still grasping his as she reached her free hand to wipe away his tears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You'll be moved tomorrow morning right?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded slowly, devoid of any strength to form words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll go set up your room for you as best as I can okay? When your doctor came to get me he told me that Himiko and Maki just woke up too, so you'll all be free to leave soon. Tsumugi requested to be released separately after you guys are gone and Kiibo is currently recovering so it'll just be you 3 leaving tomorrow. According to the address in your files, you and I live really close to each other so if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me okay?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded again slowly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Th-thank you Kaede."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She gave him another smile, finally unclasping her hand from his.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll go prepare your room for you. Do you want me to stay until you're discharged?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another nod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Get some sleep Shuichi. We can talk more tomorrow but for now you need rest."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with those words, Shuichi's world went black.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Going Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shuichi gets to go home. That's it that's the whole chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi was awoken from his deep slumber by 2 sharp knocks on the door and some muffled words he couldn't quite process in his still half-asleep state. He could hear footsteps walking away from his door as he opened his eyes, blinking away the sleepiness as he took in his surroundings.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The room Shuichi woke up in was most certainly not the one he fell asleep in. For one, he was in a nice comfortable bed, a fluffy navy comforter wrapped around him as he curled up in the warmth. He was still wearing the hospital gown, which made him feel a bit better knowing the hospital staff didn't undress him without him knowing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His whole body ached in protest as he sat up, looking around the room through the eyes of a master detective. The room was quite basic, a simple cube with navy blue walls, a dresser, a desk, a closet, and a bed. On the small nightstand next to his bed, a blinking clock showed the time as 10:30 AM. He took note of a sliding door at the other end of the room, probably a bathroom. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His head pounded as he got to his feet and stretched, his aching muscles doing nothing to help the killer headache. It was then that he noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table, next to 2 aspirin pills and a small glass of water.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hi Shuichi!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hope you had a good night's sleep. You probably feel really icky right now so I'll try to make this short. Your clothes are in your dresser and closet respectively. I shoved most of your other belongings in the desk drawer including your phone and laptop (both fully charged no need to thank me). For some reason, you had like 10 silver heart shaped keys in your duffel bag. I'm not even gonna ask cause that's none of my business but they're in the desk drawer too.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Himiko and Maki are both awake and in their own rooms at this point. The doctors told me last night that there will be a wakeup call around 10:30 and then the short meeting at noon sharp. Don't worry about the meeting we all had to go through it. They just answer some of your questions, give you directions to your house and some important documents that's about it. Nothing super serious. After that, I guess you're free to go. We live close to each other so text me if you want me to walk you home okay? Everyone's numbers are probably already in your phone but if they aren't then I'll give you everyone's contact information the next time I see you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>-Kaede</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>P.S. I got in touch with your roommate and they told me to tell you not to look at your camera roll yet. Apparently there's some stuff that might be in there that warrants an in person explanation. I know you're a detective and all so your curiosity is probably gonna get the better of you anyway, but try to restrain yourself until you get home.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Choosing to not think too hard about the ominous sounding post-script, Shuichi tossed the note into the desk drawer, taking note that he did indeed have a lot of heart shaped keys. He recognized them but for some reason he couldn't remember what they were for, and decided to just ignore them. Inside the drawer he found his phone and laptop, both fully charged and without passwords which he found a bit suspicious but was glad for, as he probably wouldn't have remembered the passwords anyway. He decided to investigate everything on them later, instead deciding to down the painkillers and get ready for the day.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One nice hot shower later, Shuichi was in clean clothes and his headache has disappeared. He slumped down into the desk chair, taking out his phone to try to piece together what remained of his old life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Remembering Kaede's ominous post-script, he moved his photos folder to another junk folder so he wouldn't be tempted to look at it. He was curious yes, but he definitely didn't want to break his roommate's trust before he even met them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He then scrolled through all his contacts, sending a basic message to each informing them of his survival in the game, and an offer to meet them all individually once he was situated back in his life. His mother and father responded almost immediately, ecstatic about hearing from him, and promised to visit as soon as he would let them. He had to admit, they seemed super nice and he was excited to get to know them. Out of everyone, they were probably the only people who knew a significant amount about his backstory. Maybe he could learn a bit more about his past and why he decided to sign up for the game. He continued scrolling until one particular contact caused his heart to skip a beat and his breath to catch in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Beloved &lt;3"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He willed his breathing to slow as he tapped on the contact, hoping and praying for some answers. All he was met with was a phone number, a contact photo of a wholesome meme, and a description that said "love of my life."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So he apparently had had a girlfriend before the game huh? He wasn't quite sure what to think about that. Breathing deeply, he opened up a new text thread.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hello it's Shuichi. I'm getting discharged from Team Danganronpa HQ today and I would love to meet you. I'm assuming we dated before the game due to what I could gather from your contact name. Unfortunately I can't remember you but I'd love to get to know you again and be friends. Who knows, maybe it'll become something more again?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The reply was almost instant.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hi Shuichi! I'm so glad to know you're awake and well. I'd prefer to introduce myself in person but you won't need to wait that long at all. We actually lived together before the game so I'm already at the apartment. Let me know when you're coming home okay? Can't wait to see you again. There's so much we need to talk about.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So apparently this was a super serious relationship huh? Living together? Shuichi wasn't quite sure how to feel about that, living in a total stranger's house. Well clearly he wasn't a total stranger to HER but she was to him regardless. A knock on the door snapped him from his trance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced at the clock on his phone. 11:30 AM. He reluctantly walked towards the door and opened it. On the other side was a nurse with choppy purple hair and an insane amount of bandages on her arms and legs. He briefly wondered if she was okay, but then realized it was probably none of his business.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"H-hello Sai-Saihara~kun. The m-meeting is g-gonna start in h-half an hour. Y-you'll be free to l-leave after s-s-so start g-gathering your th-things together. I-if you want to that is. I'msosorryforbotheringyouokaybye!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, the door was shut in his face, the nervous purple haired nurse sprinting down the hallway. Shuichi walked over to his closet and pulled out a small suitcase and a backpack that were left in there. After he was sure he had everything packed and had triple checked everything, he left the room behind him, eager to get back home to his new/old life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The meeting was every bit as bland and boring as Kaede said it would be. After receiving their important documents, keys to their homes, and numbers for nearby therapists, the 3 survivors of the 53rd season of Danganronpa chatted for a bit, exchanged numbers and promptly went their separate ways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the meeting was over, Shuichi had about an hour until he had to meet up with Kaede once she was done with her therapy appointment. He decided to sit in the building's cafe, grabbing a coffee and retrieving his phone and laptop from his backpack. After sending a quick text message to "Beloved &lt;3," he flipped through the items and documents he was given at the meeting. Birth certificate, driver's license, credit card and debit card complete with the information to his bank account. Inside the small folder he was also given the very first of his monthly checks from Team Danganronpa.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing the struggles the contestants would have adjusting to their new lives, as well as their new life ambitions which could differ greatly from their previous ones, each contestant would receive a sizable payment from Team Danganronpa every month for 5 years. Shuichi's eyes widened at the amount written on the slip of paper. It was a lot of numbers to say the least. With any luck, he might not even have to work another day in his life, especially since he apparently had a roommate/ girlfriend who most likely shared the rent. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After placing all the documents and items into his backpack, he powered up his computer, hoping he might be able to find some answers. He again steered clear of the photos, remembering Kaede's message, and went into his browser history, hoping the information there would be useful and not something Miu would have in her search history.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He discovered that he was apparently a journalist in the local newspaper and was also a self-employed artist who took commissions and sold his creations on his own website. It seemed he had a fairly sizable following, though he wasn't quite sure if that was due to his art, or the fact that he was now a TV star. Nonetheless, he decided the situation could've been a lot worse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was at this point that Kaede walked into the cafe, waving and smiling at him as he scrambled to get all of his belongings back into his backpack. He was actually quite eager to get back to his own home. The nurses at Team Danganronpa were nice he supposed, but the facility definitely wasn't something he would call homey. He was eager to get some fresh air.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As they walked they talked about everything they had found out about their lives before the game. Kaede informed him that all their friends had a group chat that they shared information on, and promised to add him once he was situated into his home. When he asked why she couldn't just add him now, she looked away, refusing to look at his eyes and swiftly changed the subject.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kaede told him that since they all woke up, they had found out quite a lot about their connections to one another. The ones released earlier from the game were already beginning to remember snippets of their old lives. They had all apparently been friends or been acquainted with one another before being on the show, and auditioned as a group instead of as individuals, supposedly to draw out better reactions from the deaths. Some ties were stronger such as Kaede and Shuichi, who had apparently been best friends since high school. Others he found out were weaker, like how Gonta's wife had bought her wedding dress from the boutique that Tsumugi and Angie had owned together, thus allowing them to meet Gonta.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He also learned that though the in-game auditions were staged for a more dramatic pre-game vs post-game reveal, his identity was indeed selected by himself instead of by viewers or Team Danganronpa. It gave Shuichi a bit of comfort, knowing that his past self did indeed have a say in his present life even if his audition tape was exaggerated. Kaede refrained from telling him too much about their classmates and their lives before the game, insisting he would find out for himself soon enough. Before he knew it, they were standing in front of a tall apartment building.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"This is your building. Your apartment is on the 4th floor. Apartment 37. Your roommate said to text you when you got here."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You know my roommate? Is she nice?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kaede quickly looked away from him, refusing to meet his eyes yet again, as he typed out a message to "Beloved &lt;3."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah I-I've met your roommate. They'll be good for you in more ways than 1."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't quite know what to make of that statement, simply saying goodbye and heading towards the elevator.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Shuichi wait!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He whipped back around, nearly losing his balance. He locked eyes with Kaede who looked almost... panicked? Sad? Worried? He wasn't even sure.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Just... just don't freak out on them okay? You 2 are going to have a lot to discuss and it's not going to be easy, but they've changed a lot for the better. Just trust me on this one and stay calm okay?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with that cryptic message, she swiftly turned on her heels and walked away, her skirt swaying in the light breeze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shoving down the nerves that threatened to take over him, Shuichi entered the elevator and made his way up to the apartment. The apartment where apparently someone who had changed for the better lived. Kaede's words made no sense to him at all, but he decided to ignore them. Worrying would only make him freak out, and that's the last thing his roommate apparently needed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly stepped towards the door of his apartment, his hand shaking as he lifted it to knock on the heavy wooden surface. His legs trembled as he heard something creaking as it neared the door, tensed up as he heard the doorknob turn and then...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked down to see a small boy in a wheelchair, his lavender eyes meeting his own gold ones with childlike wonder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hiya Shumai! Guess we've got a lot to talk about huh?"</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Inner Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While Shuichi and Kaede make their way to the apartment, Kokichi thinks about a certain detective.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>While Kaede and Shuichi walked along the city streets chatting about their respective pasts, a certain purple haired boy sat lazily on his apartment couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No not his apartment couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Their</span>
  </em>
  <span> apartment couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His and Shuichi's that they had lived in together before going into that horrid game. The apartment where they had apparently fallen in love and lived their lives to the fullest before leaving it all behind for a world of betrayal and robotic bears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The apartment where Kokichi now sat, grape panta in hand as he contemplated what would happen when the object of his affection eventually arrived at his... no their doorstep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't exactly a secret that Kokichi had a crush on the shy detective. If not for his joking personality, he was sure everyone on the planet would've known by now. He had always found him kinda cute, found the way he hid those beautiful golden eyes under his hat when he got nervous very endearing. He flirted with him endlessly in the game, always calling him his beloved and saying how much he liked his company, though Shuichi seemed way too dense to realize he was actually serious. After he died in the game and woke up in the hospital, those feelings had only strengthened with the time he spent away from the detective. That combined with his other mental issues from being treated the way he was in the game, was often too much to handle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He did a good job at hiding his emotions for the most part, taking care to mention Shuichi as little as possible in conversation. Not that anyone really talked to him anyway. It wasn't until one day when Kaede came into his room to give him his breakfast only to find him sobbing on the floor of his bathroom, surrounded by used tissues and little sketches of Shuichi stained with tears, that he finally let someone know about the feelings that had plagued him for so long, and his fears of how the detective might hate him when he eventually woke up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After that incident (and one certain event that he didn't want to think about ever again), Kokichi started seeing a therapist, fixing his mental issues and even stopped telling so many lies (or maybe that was a lie in itself. Who knows?). With her help, he came to terms with his feelings and stopped relying so much on the confident facade he used during the game. He even was able to overcome some of his big obstacles he had faced since waking up. He had a few people now that he would even call friends! Kaede and Kirumi were the first ones to come around, acting almost like mother figures, providing him comfort and advice whenever he needed it. Weirdly enough, Miu and Gonta both forgave him for his actions in the game, and the 5 of them were now super close. They were the only ones who knew about "the incident" (Kaede and Kirumi having witnessed it for themselves and Miu and Gonta having been told by them), the only ones allowed to see him without his mask, and the only ones who knew about his crush on the detective (not that he was exactly making an attempt to hide it).</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With his friends there to support him, he had even begun to think his feelings for the shy detective were fading.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That is, until he was finally given his phone before being discharged from the hospital.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Until he saw the lock screen which was clearly a picture of him and Shuichi on a date at the beach, the taller boy lifting the shorter by the waist as they looked into each other's eyes as if they were the only 2 people on the planet, the sunset behind them basking them in a warm and romantic glow as the sea sparkled in the background.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The heart rate monitor he had to wear at all times had spiked so fast the nurses were afraid he was dying. He was held another day so they could monitor his vitals. He vowed not to turn on the phone again until he was safe and sound in his apartment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He met with Kaede, telling her what he found and making her promise to tell Shuichi not to look at his camera roll just in case. Turns out that ended up being a good idea.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nearly went into cardiac arrest again when he entered the place he once called home. The walls were filled with pictures of them together, pictures from as far back as grade school based on their small forms and squishy cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pictures of them dressed to the 9's, slow-dancing at someone's wedding, a picture of him kissing Shuichi's cheek as they both blushed. A picture of them watching the stars together, holding hands and cuddling close for warmth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He decided to go straight to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was woken up by the first text from Shuichi, informing him that he was awake and wanted to meet "her" and become friends. Kokichi replied as calmly as he possibly could, playing the part of a concerned yet excited girlfriend while his heart thumped in his chest, threatening to burst free at any given moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Figuring that he couldn't possibly get any more flustered, he decided to look at the rest of the pictures on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was a big mistake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were so many pictures of them together Kokichi wondered how long they had been dating. They clearly had known each other for a long time based on the pictures of them together as kids. Just how much of their lives had they spent together?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He just kept scrolling and scrolling, his heart pounding in his chest as he took in each individual photo of him and Shuichi together. But he couldn't stop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That is until he found the more... intimate pictures of the 2 of them, which he then swiftly deleted. They may have dated in the past, but they weren't now. He wasn't going to disrespect Shuichi's privacy like that, no matter how much he wanted to drink in those pictures of his beautiful curves, his toned muscles, his perfect ass and his... his...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He needed a cold shower.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After having some uhh... alone time, Kokichi booted up his laptop, desperate to find any information on his past. He learned that Shuichi apparently did art commissions and wrote for a local newspaper, and that they ran a small gaming channel together on YouTube. Well... it wasn't so small anymore. The doctors had warned him he would become super famous after the show's cast announcement but he wasn't expecting this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their channel which apparently had only had around 250,000 subscribers before the game, now had over 700,000, and the show hadn't even aired yet! Only the cast announcements and a couple small previews had been released so far!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kokichi watched a couple of the videos and one of the streams but he couldn't handle it. It was clear that the 2 of them were so in love with each other. It made his heart ache. He couldn't bare to watch any more of them and simply decided to plop down on the couch with a Panta while he contemplated everything he'd done in his entire life up until this point that could've possibly warranted the situation he was now faced with.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The 3 faint knocks on the door broke Kokichi out of his stupor and his heart froze. Shuichi was here. He was about to see Shuichi, who thought he would be met at the door by a pretty girl who had answers, not someone like him. Not the person that had made the game even more of a living hell than it already had been.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and forced himself to get up from the couch and into his wheelchair. Trying not to look at the photos on the walls, he prepared the persona he had tried so hard to maintain in the game. It would still look weird, he knew that. Hopefully Shuichi would be too distracted by the wheelchair to notice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He put his hand on the doorknob, twisting it and pulling it open as he met those sparkling golden eyes he loved so much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hiya Shumai! Guess we've got a lot to talk about huh?"</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A teary reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys have a heart to heart.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't remember how he responded to the question. Probably something super intelligent like "Ko-Ko-What? Why-how-HUH?!" before he promptly collapsed on the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Atua knows how long he woke up on a comfortable couch, Kokichi leaning over him,  golden eyes meeting with purple ones that lit up with excitement and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!" Kokichi half said, half yelled at him. The bright smile on his face made Shuichi's heart flutter, a strange feeling he couldn't seem to pinpoint.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You-you're alive!" Shuichi's voice was barely more than a whisper but somehow Kokichi still heard it. His smile faltered a bit as he looked at Shuichi with worry, his bright purple eyes displaying just the smallest hint of sadness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as soon as the vulnerability graced his face, it was gone, replaced with Kokichi's trademark grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi of course I am Saihara~Chan! You think a big hunk of metal could defeat the ultimate supreme leader? I may be in a wheelchair now and can barely walk across the street and back before falling but a stupid press couldn't take me down that easily. Wow Shumai for a detective you're pretty dense!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't say a word. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he lunged forward, crushing the smaller boy in a bear hug as tears rolled down his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I- I'M SO SORRY!" Shuichi felt Kokichi jump a bit at the volume of his words but he wouldn't let go of the boy. He never wanted to let go again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shumai it's okay! You've got nothing to be sorry for! I brought it all on myself after all. It's not your fault I decided to bother everyone so much!" Of all the confrontation scenarios Kokichi had prepared himself for, this definitely wasn't one of them. He'd have to think fast on his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"NO KOKICHI IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The detective was full on sobbing at this point, clutching onto Kokichi as he let loose everything he had felt those days after Kokichi was gone. All those hours of overwhelming grief and regret personifying themselves in hot tears as they soaked into Kokichi's shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You trusted me. I was the only one you trusted and I-I broke you. I-I told you you'd always be alone. And then you-you sacrificed yourself. You sacrificed yourself after everything I did to you! After what all of us did to you! After all those harsh words and screaming and yelling and punches and death wishes, you still tried to save everyone! Why on Earth would you do that?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi finally pulled back from the hug slightly, letting Kokichi breathe. His vision was still obstructed by tears as they poured free, but he could see the emotions in Kokichi's purple eyes. So many conflicting emotions he could barely process any of them. Shuichi could tell just then, Kokichi had finally taken down his mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I had to do it Shuichi. It was my only option. After I was struck by that crossbow bolt, I knew I was going to die."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi watched in shock as tears, genuine tears escaped Kokichi's eyes, rolling slowly down his small face. Shuichi resisted the urge to reach up and wipe them away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kaito and I both knew what we had to do. He was dying of the disease anyway. Neither of us believed we would leave that class trial alive, but I knew it had to be me to take the fall, to take the risk to save everyone else. I had already been planning my sacrifice for a while. Something elaborate and unsolvable that would cause the end of the game. I had spent so many sleepless nights in my room writing detailed plans for every scenario I could possibly think of. I thought I would have a bit more time, but the second Maki shot that crossbow, I knew that was it. I knew I wouldn't leave that hangar alive." At this point the smaller boy was desperately trying to stop his tears, trying to put his mask back up as he shook in Shuichi's arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"As much as I wanted to live, wanted to survive and escape with you and all the others, I wanted to redeem myself more. During that game, I made decisions that eventually caused everyone to hate me. I was cruel and heartless to everyone around me because it was the only way I could cope with what was happening. I claimed to be the mastermind after Gonta's trial because I knew you guys would all hate me for it. I hated myself after all so what difference would a couple more people make? I couldn't have anyone get close to me. It was what was necessary to survive. It was just like you said, I was alone. But Kaito, he had you and Maki and all the others supporting him. I couldn't possibly have kept living knowing I could've saved him. My stupidity had already caused the deaths of 2 other people. My stupidity had caused me to break the one rule I'd had for myself since as long as I could remember. In my own eyes, that made me beyond redemption. Causing their deaths made me a monster. It caused me so much grief and despair that I legit went insane. If Kaito had even the slightest chance of survival, of escaping with people he cared about who cared about him in return, I would have gladly sacrificed myself in his place. He had so much to live for, and i had nothing. So I decided to die instead. If there was even a chance that I could be forgiven, a chance to redeem myself to you guys even just a little bit, I had to take it even if it cost me my own life in the very end."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi couldn't resist the temptation anymore. He lifted his arm and delicately swiped away Kokichi's tears before letting his hand linger as he cupped the smaller boy's cheek. Kokichi tensed up at first, his face gaining a slight pink tint before he closed his eyes and leaned into Shuichi's touch, craving the tiny bit of affection after being alone for who knows how long. The sight of Kokichi so vulnerable made Shuichi feel happy, no, more than happy. The urge to protect the smaller boy was overwhelming. He was barely aware of his movements as he lunged forward for another hug, his strong arms wrapping around Kokichi's tiny frame as the smaller boy shook slightly, desperately trying to stop his tears and put up his mask yet again. Desperately trying to force away his vulnerability so Shuichi wouldn't get even closer. Shuichi couldn't seem to force his vocal cords to work, not knowing what he could possibly say to comfort the small boy. Kokichi didn't seem to mind though, instead choosing to nuzzle his face further into Shuichi's chest, clutching desperately onto his shirt as if he would disappear at any moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of them were entirely sure how long they sat there on the couch, just holding each other as they let loose all of the emotions they had been hiding for so long. It wasn't until they had no tears left that Kokichi finally let go of his grip on Shuichi and pulled away. Shuichi was almost saddened by the sudden emptiness of his arms as Kokichi looked up at him with those piercing purple eyes, puffy and red from his tears. In a split second however, his entire demeanor changed completely, his trademark smirk returning to his face in the blink of an eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi, wow Saihara-Chan! You made me look super stupid and vulnerable right there. You looked pretty dumb yourself though too, dropping your own problems to comfort me. Hehe too bad it was all a-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi suddenly stopped talking, averting his eyes from Shuichi's face to look at the floor. It didn't take a genius to understand what the smaller boy was going to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was going to say it was all a lie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Shuichi thought to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But why did he stop himself?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi why did you-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh nothing my precious Shumai. Wow you'd think you'd have realized how much I lie by now? Did our time together in the game mean nothing to you? WAHHHH." Kokichi started crying again but this time the tears were obviously fake. Shuichi chuckled a bit at Kokichi's outburst, secretly thankful to have his old friend back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait friend? Were they friends?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi honestly didn't know. Plus there were more important things to discuss, such as why Kokichi was in his... no </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> apartment apparently. Whether they were or weren't friends could definitely wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So," Shuichi started, finally finding his voice. "You said there's a lot to talk about? How about we start with that then."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. We were what?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"So, you said there's a lot to talk about? How about we start with that then."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi didn't even know where he could possibly start. He never exactly imagined he'd be in a situation where he had to explain to the boy he had a massive crush on that they had a very intimate relationship before the killing game. Suddenly Kokichi felt like he had lost the ability to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Woah, hey Kokichi are you alright?" Shuichi's words were laced with worry. "Are you okay? You're super red and you're hyperventilating!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh great so he was blushing too. This was going off to a fantastic start. Kokichi tried desperately to switch into his confident persona he had during the game but it was no use, he was too panicked for the mask to form. Helpless, he decided to gesture vaguely at the pictures on the walls before burying his flushed face in his hands and hoping that Shuichi's detective skills could do the explaining for him. God in times like these he really wished he had his scarf back to hide his face in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peeking through his fingers, Kokichi watched as Shuichi's golden eyes flickered from picture to picture, his eyes widening and his face growing gradually pinker with each image he looked at. When his face was just as red as Kokichi's felt, he turned to the smaller boy, trying to gauge his reaction through the gaps in his fingers as he nervously reached his hand up to the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So-so that's why you told me n-not to look at the pictures?" Kokichi nodded, his face still buried in his hands. He couldn't bear for his crush to see him in such a flustered state. He was Kokichi Ouma for crying out loud. He was the Ultimate Supreme Leader who exuded confidence 24/7. And yet this sweet and shy detective was turning him into a flustered stuttering mess without even saying a word! He hadn't even told him that their past selves had been intimate, and pretty kinky if the pictures on his own phone were any indication. He forced the words to come out of his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Th-there's another reason," he squeaked out, mentally cursing himself at how much he was stuttering. He had to say it. Shuichi deserved to know. Just spit out the rest of the sentence and get it over with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"When I looked through my photos I found some ones of us being...intimate." Shuichi's mouth dropped open in shock, which caused Kokichi to giggle just slightly at the hilarious look on the taller boy's face. The detective's face was completely red now and it filled Kokichi with a burst of confidence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you shocked Shumai? Dang you should be glad you were able to get some of this hot bod of mine. We were also pretty kinky from what I could see, there were a lot of  compromising pictures of you in these really sexy and skimpy-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi trailed off when he saw the look of absolute horror and embarrassment on the taller boy's face. He immediately turned away, his confidence completely gone as the realization of what he had just said hit him like a freight train. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I fucked up</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck I need to fix this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shit Shuichi I'm sorry that was way too far. I don't know what came over me there and I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise you I already deleted all of those pictures from my phone. I'm sorry I won't bring it up again. I'm so fucking sorry." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he gathered enough courage to look at Shuichi again, he was surprised to see a genuine look of shock on his face. Kokichi looked at him in confusion, his head cocked to the side like a small puppy in a way that Shuichi found oddly adorable (though he would never admit that out loud).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," Shuichi started, his face full of embarrassment. "It's just I've never heard you apologize before and I wasn't expecting you to-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"-delete the pictures?" Kokichi finished for him, slightly saddened at the idea that Shuichi didn't trust him. Though it's not like he couldn't blame him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded slowly, and Kokichi felt his mask slip back up involuntarily to protect himself as he prepared his reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wow Shumai, I can't believe you'd think so little of me. Did my beloved detective think I'd use them as blackmail or my own personal uses? Maybe he thought I would release them for the world to see. Wow my beloved really doesn't trust me." He winced at his own words the second they came out of his mouth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did you say that?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He berated himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why can't you just talk like a normal person for once in your life?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi must have noticed his pained expression as he decided to ignore the smaller boy's outburst, instead deciding to look at him with a look of encouragement. Kokichi once again wondered what he did to deserve the wonderful angel in front of him. He took a deep breath and shoved down his mask once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes I deleted the pictures. It's great that we had such a good relationship in the past that we trusted each other in such a way, but I know that those pictures aren't for my eyes. We may have dated in the past, and your past self may have consented to my past self having them, but we aren't those people anymore. I'm not the person who was trusted with those photos and you're not the person who trusted me with them. They weren't for me and I would never invade your privacy like that by keeping them for ANY reason without your consent. So I deleted them all."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi could tell he was seriously blushing at this point, so he buried his face in his hands once again, refusing to look at Shuichi as he processed the information. This was the second time that day that Shuichi had actually seen his true self without his carefully crafted mask, so Kokichi knew he must be taken aback.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like ages until Shuichi finally replied, though it was probably only a few seconds. Kokichi was mentally preparing himself for the worst. He didn't know what exactly he had expected. For Shuichi to lash out? For him to be mad that he had deleted precious memories? Kokichi couldn't help but fear for the worst. He was prepared for anything except for the words that left the taller boy's mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"HUH?" Kokichi replied extremely smoothly and seductively without blushing in the slightest. Okay yeah that was a total lie. Even he knew he couldn't fool anyone with that one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi gave him a soft smile, a smile filled with so much adoration and fondness that Kokichi thought he might just melt into a puddle right there on the living room floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for respecting me like that. And you're right, I was kind of expecting the worst, which was a total dick move on my part. But Kaede was right, you really have changed for the better. I'm sorry I judged you so harshly and I hope we can move past all this and be friends without the stresses of our pasts weighing us down."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That damn smile again. It was at this point Kokichi realized just how far gone he was for the golden eyed detective. He would do anything to see that smile every second of his life if he could. That smile filled with such genuine trust and fondness that Kokichi was fairly certain he had really died in that game and gone to heaven after all, because there's no way that the boy before him was anything less than a perfect angel created by the gods themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took him a second to realize he was staring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"S-sorry," he squeaked, once again cursing himself for the stutter and the heat on his cheeks that he could feel once again. Since when did this man have the godly ability to turn him into such a mess?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi couldn't help but laugh at the smaller boy's embarrassment. It was just too cute. But in a platonic way of course because he wasn't gay. His friend was just cute in the way a puppy was cute. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ya know you really have changed a lot Kokichi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Purple eyes met golden once again as Kokichi looked up from where he had been having a staring contest with the coffee table, a light hint of pink still dusting his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah. A lot of stuff happened since I left the game and it definitely hasn't been easy but I'm getting there. I've been going to therapy and stuff since I woke up. It's been okay I suppose. My therapist is really sweet. Her name is Chisa and she's helped me a lot and-" He was once again interrupted by the dazzling smile on the taller boy's face. Kokichi decided he seriously needed to change the topic before he spontaneously combusted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So," he half shouted as he shot up from the living room couch, briefly forgetting the reason why he had a wheelchair in the first place as he nearly fell back down. "I crashed as soon as I got here yesterday so I haven't really looked around yet."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded, understanding what he was suggesting. "Okay then, let's go explore this place. Maybe we'll find some more clues about our past."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi woke up to the sound of screaming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the emotional conversation that had taken place that afternoon, the boys had spent the rest of the day exploring their new (or old. Shuichi didn't even know what to call it) home, before ordering takeout as neither of them really felt up to cooking. Team Danganronpa had provided them with some basic groceries to help them get settled in and Shuichi was grateful for that, but neither of them really felt up to being productive quite yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were both relieved to find that the apartment had 2 separate bedrooms and that they wouldn't have to sleep in the same bed. Kokichi seemed incredibly flustered and relieved by this fact, though Shuichi pretended not to notice. Maybe Kokichi had some sort of trauma when it came to sharing a bed with someone. He wasn't about to pry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though there were 2 bedrooms, it was clear that one of them had been used much more than the other. While one room was almost entirely barren of any sign of life, aside from a small bit of clothing in the closet, the other was filled with decorations and both the dresser and closet were filled with clothes. Shuichi briefly noticed that there was a significant amount of women's clothing but hey, who was he to judge? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Due to some of the pictures of their younger selves one the apartment walls, Shuichi deduced they must have been childhood friends. They must've moved in together after high school and then fell in love afterwards, eventually moving to one room that they shared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could feel his face start to heat up again. Even the idea of dating the shorter boy was making him flustered. But Shuichi wasn't gay, so what the hell was happening? Maybe he was just that touch-starved that the small amount of affection Kokichi had shown him had affected him that much? Maybe his pre-game memories were coming back earlier than anticipated? He had no idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was jolted out of his stupor when Kokichi squeaked. Shuichi looked over towards him to watch him throw a box way in the back of the closet. His face was bright red and the second he locked eyes with Shuichi, he wheeled out of the room in a panic. Shuichi chuckled a bit, deciding to leave the box a mystery for now. If something could ruffle the smaller boy's feathers that easily, he figured it was better if it stayed hidden for now. He could ask questions later once they were fully settled in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After eating their dinner and moving all of their belongings into the 2 bedrooms, they both decided to turn in for the night as the exhaustion from the emotional afternoon both hit them like a train. So they said goodnight to each other and headed to their rooms, both falling asleep almost immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now Shuichi was wide awake as another pained scream echoed around his bedroom walls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked at the clock on his bedside table. </span>
  <em>
    <span>2:54 AM</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Still out of it from being woken up from a deep sleep, he decided to just go back to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That is until a third scream made him realize that the sounds were indeed real and that they were coming from </span>
  <b>Kokichi's bedroom</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot out of his bed like a rocket, suddenly on full alert as he ran to the smaller boy's room. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Kokichi squirming in his checkered blanket, sweaty with tears all over his face as he let out another scream. He was having a nightmare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi ran to his bedside and shook the smaller boy gently, knowing being aggressive would just scare Kokichi more. He knew you aren't exactly supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare but he couldn't just stand there while his friend screamed and writhed around as if he were in intense pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," he said softly. "Kokichi it's Shuichi. You're having a nightmare. You're safe. Wake up Kichi you're safe I'm right here Kichi. It's okay Kichi wake up."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let out a sigh of relief when the smaller boy finally opened his eyes. He gave him a second to take in his surroundings, letting go of the hand he hadn't even realized he was holding. Finally he looked up at Shuichi, his eyes softening once he realized nobody was there to hurt him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" He croaked out, as he hiccuped another sob. "Wha-What happened?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi gave him a soft smile that nearly made his heart melt. "You were screaming in your sleep Kichi. I'm not going to press for de-" he winced at his own wording, suddenly realizing what the other had probably been dreaming about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not going to ask you what it was about if you don't want to talk about it. But I'm here and you're safe now okay? Can I touch you? Is that okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi turned a bit pink at the taller boy's words but he nodded slowly and Shuichi wrapped his small body in his arms. It was the most tender and soft hug Kokichi had ever felt in his life, and he clung to Shuichi harder as he shook. He sobbed into Shuichi's shoulder as the taller boy rubbed small circles on his back. He never wanted to let go and once again asked himself what he had done to have such a perfect angel like Shuichi in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually Kokichi pulled away, secretly craving more but knowing it would get awkward if he kept hugging Shuichi. Shuichi gave him that smile again, and Kokichi smiled back. Everything would be okay if Shuichi just kept smiling at him like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright I'll leave and let you get back to sleep. Sweet dreams Kichi." Shuichi separated his arms from Kokichi much to the sadness of the smaller boy before standing up straight and leaving the bedside with a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi turned around, starting to leave back towards his own bedroom when he felt a small hand on his wrist. He twisted back around to see Kokichi had left the covers and was on his hands and knees on the middle of the bed, clutching Shuichi's wrist and staring at him with those big puppy dog eyes that were filled with tears. He was still shaking and Shuichi realized he couldn't just leave him alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sh-Shuichi p-please don't g-go," the smaller boy managed to choke out between sobs. "I-I don't wanna be a-alone." Shuichi felt his face go a bit pink but he quickly shoved it out. There was nothing romantic about this. Kokichi was his friend and he needed him right now. He couldn't get all shy now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course," he replied, already starting back towards Kokichi's bed. He quickly slipped under the covers and opened his arms wide, inviting the smaller boy to cuddle with him. Kokichi quickly took the opportunity, wasting no time in sliding over and burying himself in Shuichi chest, strong arms holding him in place as he let loose his tears once again. Shuichi simply held him tight with both arms around his back, one of his hands reaching up to play with Kokichi's soft purple hair, which seemed to calm him down significantly. Eventually the shaking and sobbing in his arms stopped and he realized Kokichi had fallen back asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled down at the boy in his arms. His eyes were puffy and red from crying but his face was peaceful as he snuggled deeper into Shuichi's chest in his sleep and let out small snores that sounded more like they belonged to a cat than a human being. Shuichi found it extremely cute, though he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. He and Kokichi were friends and nothing more. Plus Shuichi wasn't gay. This was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>friendly</span>
  </em>
  <span> cuddle between </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends</span>
  </em>
  <span> because one friend had a nightmare and needed affection. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still that didn't stop Shuichi from playing with the soft purple locks between his fingers, and looking at Kokichi's sleepy face until he too fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mmmmmmm fluff</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Warmth</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the only thing Kokichi could think of when he woke up after what had probably been the best sleep he'd had since he'd woken up from the simulation. It had been so long since he'd felt so well-rested. It felt almost unnatural but he certainly wasn't complaining as he buried his face farther into this warm mystery object.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This warm mystery object that was moving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was breathing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then that Kokichi realized that this mystery object was indeed a living breathing human being. The human being that he was hopelessly in love with, that was currently cuddling him like his lover, Shuichi's strong arms wrapped around him in a protective embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was at that moment when Kokichi's brain short-circuited and he felt all the blood rush to his face that he recalled what had taken place the night before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The press. I was under the press.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could still feel it. The coolness of the metal as the press slowly lowered itself onto his bare chest. The metallic scent of his own blood as he felt all the bones in his body breaking one by one from the pressure. He wasn't even able to move or scream, just forced to lay there as he was crushed, his vision tunneling as Shuichi's words played in his mind. "You're alone Kokichi and you always will be." That was the only thing he could think of as his blood pooled around him, nearly drowning him. He had only one thought before everything ended. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I never even had the courage to tell you that I loved you Shuichi. No lies, no mask, just the truth. I'll never be able to. But I'll get you out of here. You and everyone else. I'll redeem myself for all the deaths I caused. I'll defeat the mastermind once and for all. I love you and I always will.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And then the agonizing pain stopped and everything faded to black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Kokichi had woken up from his night terror to hear Shuichi's soft voice speaking words of comfort. He felt Shuichi's hand in his as Shuichi's gentle words grounded him back into reality, assuring him that he was safe. He felt his strong arms around him as he assured him that it was okay to be vulnerable, melted his heart with that beautiful smile that made all of his troubles disappear immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he had stayed. He </span>
  <b>stayed</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi had been prepared for the worst. Maybe Shuichi would refuse to stay and comfort him. Maybe Kokichi would wake up in the morning and Shuichi would be gone, having left the second Kokichi fell asleep. Maybe he would've moved out after seeing how crazy and unstable his new roommate truly was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But none of that had happened. He had stayed. He had stayed the whole night, held Kokichi in his arms, protected him, assured him it was safe. He had respected Kokichi's wishes to not talk about his dream and in an instant, had decided to drop everything to help Kokichi even after everything he had done to Shuichi and his friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was starting to tear up again but he didn't care. He loved Shuichi so much. With all his heart. He never thought it was possible to love someone like this. But he couldn't tell Shuichi how much he loved him. Not yet anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now he'd just allow himself to indulge in Shuichi's warmth as he nuzzled his face in his chest and eventually drifted back into a deep sleep once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the first thought that rushed to Shuichi's head as he felt himself slowly begin to wake up. His arms were wrapped around something small and warm, and there was a small weight on his chest, unyielding but not uncomfortable. Something soft tickled his nose and he wanted nothing more than to bury his face in whatever it was and return to his peaceful slumber.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A phone however seemed to have another idea as it buzzed a few times from its spot on the nightstand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly he brought his face up from the soft substance and opened his eyes, only to see that the room he was in definitely did not belong to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then that Shuichi broke out of his daze and realized that the object he was clutching was indeed a living breathing human being, and his brain was flooded by all the memories of the previous night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That's right. I stayed in Kokichi's room last night.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked back down at the sleeping boy with a worried expression, his face softening when he caught a glimpse of the peaceful expression on the smaller boy's face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He's been through so much. I'm glad I was able to help him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He giggled a bit when he noticed the small piece of purple hair that had fallen between the boy's eyes, slightly stirring with each breath. He reached over to Kokichi's face and brushed the soft hair behind his ear, his palm cupping the smaller boy's face as he relished in Kokichi's calm expression. His heart leapt into his throat when the smaller boy melted into his touch in his sleep in a way Shuichi could only describe as a cuddly kitten begging for more attention. He couldn't even deny the fact that it was adorable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am straight. I like women. I am straight. I like women. He's just a friend. Friend friend friend friend friend friend...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi kept uttering the mantra in his head as he slowly moved the edge of his thumb up and down Kokichi's soft cheeks. His face was no doubt beet red judging by the warmth he felt, and he didn't even have the self control to stop himself from blushing as he stared at Kokichi's sleeping face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I AM STRAIGHT I LIKE WOMEN KOKICHI OUMA IS JUST A FRIEND WHO I LIVE WITH AND CARE ABOUT VERY MUCH IN A VERY PLATONIC WAY BECAUSE I AM BOTH ROMANTICALLY AND SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN ONLY</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point he figured he'd just be better off going back to sleep as getting up would only wake up Kokichi. Shuichi figured he needed his sleep if the nightmare he had had was anything to go off of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course Kokichi's phone had other plans as it buzzed obnoxiously and played a rather vulgar tune signaling someone was calling him. Kokichi's eyes immediately snapped open and then widened as he realized the embarrassing position he was in with his roommate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could only imagine how it must have looked to Kokichi. One arm was still wrapped around him, his other hand on the smaller boy's cheek, his face still burning red in embarrassment. Kokichi's face tinted slightly pink, his eyes still wide in shock because </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi was still there. And he had his hand on his cheek. And he was </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>blushing</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon enough his trademark grin returned to his face, his eyes sparkling mischievously as Shuichi pulled his hand away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wow, was my beloved detective staring at me while I slept? You're such a pervert Saihara-chan! You must've been having dirty thoughts about me too huh?" His eyes filled with crocodile tears. "You're so mean trying to take advantage of a helpless maiden like me! Why would you do that Shumai? WAAAHHHHHH!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just gave him a small smile and chuckled slightly, delighted that the boy seemed to be feeling better from the night before, and relieved he successfully avoided questions about the internal crisis he had been having. He couldn't resist the laughter that escaped his mouth at Kokichi's confused expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And now my beloved detective is laughing at me too! WAAAAHHHH I thought we were friiieeeennndssssss!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This only prompted Shuichi to laugh more. The taller boy was now overtaken with laughter, clutching his sides as he wheezed. Kokichi was pouting at him but Shuichi could tell he was holding back a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay fine I went a bit overboard there," Kokichi huffed at him. "Can you at least hand me my phone so I can figure out why Miu decided to interrupt my cuddle session with my beloved Shumai?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded and reached towards the bedside table. "So, did you sleep well last night?" He asked Kokichi as he handed him his phone, the sparkly checkered case gleaming in the early morning sunlight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's eyes lit up at Shuichi's words as he took his phone. "Yeah I did actually! After you helped calm me down, that was probably the best night's sleep I've had since I left the game." His smile faltered just a bit. "Though there's not much to compare it to. Normally I can't get back to sleep at all after nightmares like that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He flashed Shuichi a smile that made his stomach do a flip. Seriously what was wrong with him today? He forced himself to snap out of his thoughts and pay attention to his roomate's words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So thank you for calming me down and cuddling with me last night my beloved Shumai!" He finished with another smile. The smaller boy looked down at his phone letting out a long sigh that left Shuichi puzzled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh it's Miu's little group chat," he said, taking note of Shuichi's confused expression. "It's just me, Kirumi, Kaede, Gonta, and Miu. Miu was asking if we were all available for a sleepover tonight. Now that everyone's awake, they wanna fill you in on as much as possible before everyone else decides to plan something as a group. She was just calling because I didn't answer right away like I usually do. Normally the nightmares wake me up at ungodly hours of the morning."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded slowly, taking everything in. This must be a different group chat than the one Kaede was talking about, and that she had refused to add him to yesterday. He made a mental note to ask her about that sometime soon. Then something hit him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait...you, Miu and Gonta in a group chat together and you're getting along? Like...you're actually friends? How did that happen?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi just giggled a little bit before he started his explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi silly Shumai, that's a long story. Buckle up and grab a notebook cause it's time for me to fill you in on everything you've missed."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. An explanation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Okay Shumai let's start with everything you already know. Tell me everything you remember and I'll try my hardest not to lie to you. No promises though nishishi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was ecstatic to find out what he had missed when he was still in the simulation. That doctor had been borderline useless in answering his questions and he was eager for some real answers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay, so when Himiko, Maki and I stepped out of the academy, we all passed out. When I woke up I was in the hospital and this doctor came and told me that they had implanted some chip in our heads that caused a coma and... why are you laughing?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was rolling around on the bed clutching his sides in laughter. "That's hilarious!" He managed to choke out between his giggles. "You got Rantaro's doctor!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi looked back up at him, his laughter finally dying down slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry about that. Anyways, yeah don't believe a single word that doctor told you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Rantaro had the same wacky doctor when he left the game. Told him he had a chip in his head or something. Man was he confused when Kaede woke up and was told something totally different. Turns out that nut job doctor is just a big Danganronpa fan and likes to give patients false news for fun so he can watch them fall into despair. The only reason he's kept around is because he's one of the top doctors in Japan apparently. But yeah don't listen to anything that wacko said."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi seriously didn't have a response to the words that had just left his roommate's mouth. Everything that doctor told him was just a lie? No wonder the dude seemed crazy, he actually was!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait so," Shuichi started. "What actually happened then if what he said was a lie? How are we all still alive?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi smiled at that. "Well they can't exactly have people partake in an ACTUAL killing game. That would get shut down immediately. All that stuff about you being fictional? That's all a lie. The world is perfectly normal. The truth is, everything was just VR."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was confused at that. He glanced across the room to Kokichi's wheelchair which had been folded up against the wall next to a small medical bag. If everything was fake, how did Kokichi get hurt?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned back around at Kokichi to ask him his question but instead his eyes widened in shock. Kokichi was clutching one of his legs, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes half-closed as he looked like he was about to scream in pain. He caught sight of Shuichi's worried expression and quickly held up his hand signaling Shuichi to wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After about 20 seconds, Kokichi let out a sigh of relief and released his leg, turning toward Shuichi and smiling as if nothing had ever happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi? What was that?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's face soured as he tried not to meet Shuichi's eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Just a random burst of pain Shumai. Side effects of the press or whatever. It happens to me sometimes so don't worry about it too much! They're starting to get a lot shorter now though so maybe I'm finally healing! Wow Shumai maybe your cuddles are magic!" He looked up to Shuichi with a grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that one. Sure he was still concerned but Kokichi was in good spirits so he didn't feel like there was anything serious to be worried about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi so anyway I saw you looking at the wheelchair. You're wondering why I have it if it was all VR right?" Shuichi nodded in response, silently telling him to continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you know how in Miu's virtual world, death in the virtual world would cause death in the real world due to shock? It's a similar concept. Obviously I'm still here and alive and my bones aren't crushed into pancakes so it's not exactly the same, but most of us still feel effects of our deaths."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So it's almost a placebo effect kind of situation then? Your brain is so convinced that the trauma you went through is real that it actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>became </span>
  </em>
  <span>real."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's eyes lit up at that, seemingly happy Shuichi had understood his explanation. "Nishishi wow Shumai is soooo smart. Stop using such big sciencey words you're making us normal people feel bad." He pouted and smacked Shuichi's arm softly but Shuichi could still see the faint sparkle in his eyes. He smiled at the smaller boy and he could've sworn Kokichi's cheeks became a little bit pinker.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you said most everyone has injuries from their deaths then? What are everyone else's?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wow Saihara~Chan didn't even ask about the rest of myyy injuries!" He pouted again, small crocodile tears falling from his eyes. "Well I guess I'll say them myself then. Obviously you just saw one of the pain flashes. Those don't happen too often but they're still annoying. I have 2 crossbow wounds on my arm and back. The one on my back was much more severe and needed immediate surgery so I tend to get back pain a lot. There will most likely be permanent marks from those. Luckily most of my bones were intact but my arm and legs weren't so lucky. I had a fractured wrist and ankle which are already fully healed but my other leg was broken in 3 places. I'm technically clear to walk without that much difficulty and use crutches if it starts to hurt, but I often use the wheelchair because if I walk for too long my back starts to hurt too and crutches DO NOT agree with my back pain. I also get frequent migraines and those random phantom pains from the pressure and stuff. And yeah that's it. Don't worry, I have the worst injuries by far so you don't have to be too worried about the others."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just stared at him, his mouth wide open as he fought back tears once again. Not only had Kokichi sacrificed himself, but he now had so many injuries. He would never be the same for the rest of his life. He sniffled and Kokichi reached up to wipe away a tear he didn't know had escaped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm sorry..." he started but Kokichi cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips. His face was suddenly super serious as he stared intensely into Shuichi's eyes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi Saihara don't you dare try to apologize or take responsibility for my injuries. It was my plan that I decided to go through with. Nothing you could have said or done would have stopped me from doing it in the end. You are not to blame for any of my injuries. I am. So instead of blaming yourself for my decision, consider yourself lucky that I'm even still here to lecture you right now instead of having died in surgery like all the doctors predicted I would!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's words felt like a knife to the heart but he quickly realized he was right. He couldn't blame himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly nodded, his eyes not leaving Kokichi's own as he acknowledged Kokichi's request. The smaller boy felt the heat rise to his cheeks when he realized his finger was still on Shuichi's soft lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly pulled his hand away as he tried to shove down the thoughts that he would do anything to put his lips where his finger had just been, and looked back up at Shuichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"S-sorry," Kokichi stuttered out. "I didn't mean to snap at you but I know you enough to know that this isn't going to be the last time you try to blame yourself for one of your friends' injuries, especially since we're all going to meet up sooner or later. I just thought maybe if I said it now then you would-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was suddenly cut off when a finger was pressed against his own lips. He felt his brain short-circuit as his eyes flickered between Shuichi's eyes and Shuichi's lips, both areas making him equally as flustered. He settled on Shuichi's eyebrows instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't apologize Kichi. You're right, I regret some of my actions in the game and wish I'd done a lot of things differently, but you're right, I can't take responsibility for any of the decisions anyone else chose to make. So...thank you for that. I really needed it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's face was definitely on fire now. Truth be told, he didn't process half of Shuichi's words, his brain was hyper focused elsewhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You...y-you did it again." He slapped himself mentally for the stutter but his brain was currently shut down completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" Shuichi asked innocently, his head cocked to the side like a puppy as he looked at the smaller boy with a confused expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You called me 'Kichi.' You called me that last night too. I-I thought I had imagined it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi took a little bit of pride in the flustered expression that appeared on the detective's face. Though he couldn't exactly say he was doing much better. Still the reaction was adorable nonetheless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"AHH I'm sorry Kich-I mean KOkichi!" Shuichi sputtered. "I didn't mean to it's just when I was little and was sad my uncle would call me nicknames to calm me down and I thought it might help you a bit and then it just slipped out and I'm so sorry Kokichi I won't do it again just forget it ever happened."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was frozen. His heart was beating so fast it felt like it might burst out of his chest. He felt a bit sad that the nickname didn't mean any more then that but that feeling was ridiculously overshadowed by elation. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He called me Kichi to cheer me up. He could tell I was beating myself up for raising my voice at him and he wanted to make me feel better. Nobody's ever done that for me before.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kokichi could almost feel tears threatening to escape his eyes. Real, happy tears that he had met this perfect angel that sat before him. Even if Shuichi never felt about Kokichi the way Kokichi felt about him, having him in his life was enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I love it. Please keep saying it. Please."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi wanted to tell him everything. Everything that he'd kept hidden during the game. Everything that happened after. He wanted to tell him how much he appreciated him, how much he loved him with all his heart, but he knew that words would never be enough. Words could never show Shuichi just how much Kokichi cherished him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn't even stop himself when he leapt forward, throwing his arms around the detective as he let out an unbroken string of 'thank you's' as the tears rolled down his face. The detective was obviously confused but reciprocated the hug regardless which sent another swarm of butterflies through Kokichi's stomach. Kokichi didn't even notice them. He didn't care. Because as long as Shuichi held him in his arms, he could believe that everything really would be alright. He could believe that he could get through his mental issues and his trauma. Believe that maybe the others would stop hating him. As long as Shuichi was there to support him, he didn't feel alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because finally, he had someone who </span>
  <b>cared</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: This chapter includes a brief mention of past s//f h//m and a brief mention of an implied su//ide attempt. If you are sensitive to either of these topics, I'd recommend skipping the section marked with *******. Stay safe everyone and I hope you enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi wasn't sure how long the 2 of them sat there, his arms around the smaller boy as he played with his soft purple hair. It had probably only been a minute or 2 but Shuichi was lost deep in thought. Kokichi had been so affectionate since they were reunited yesterday. Sure the boy was always teasingly affectionate in the game, always hugging Shuichi and getting into his personal space for seemingly no reason other than annoying him. This Kokichi's affection was different though. It was slow, hesitant, desperate, as if Kokichi's world would fall apart if Shuichi wasn't near him at all times. As if physical affection was the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although Shuichi supposed, that could very well be true. It was clear to Shuichi that Kokichi really did have good intentions in the end, even if most of his friends heavily disagreed. The boy had put up so many masks, made himself the villain and suppressed all of his emotions until they exploded. Kokichi died thinking he was going to end the killing game and be at peace with his death, only to find out that none of it was real, and arrived back to a world where he was hated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi pictured himself back in Kokichi's dorm room, his eyes set on the whiteboard as he looked at the word underneath his picture. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Trustworthy. He thought I could've been trustworthy. Coming from Kokichi, that must've been difficult. If I had just noticed how much he was hurting, maybe I could've saved him. If I had just</span>
  </em>
  <span>- he was cut off when he felt something poke at his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shumai," Kokichi said softly, looking at Shuichi with his sparkling violet eyes. "I know you're blaming yourself again. I can see it in your eyes."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi smiled at the smaller boy, thankful that Kokichi had been able to snap him out of his trance. He gave Kokichi one last squeeze before separating himself from the smaller boy, not hearing the small whimper Kokichi let out at the loss of contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So anyway," Kokichi started, his bubbly grin once again plastered onto his face like nothing had even happened. "We were talking about injuries right? I suppose I should let you know about them all since we're meeting the squad tonight and I'm sure it won't be long until everyone gets together. It's probably better that you're prepared for it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded. He decided not to ask about the sudden hug. It was clear Kokichi would talk about it when he was ready. For now, he'd give the smaller boy all the affection he could possibly need.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright so I guess I'll go by severity. Rantaro probably had the least damage out of all of us. He ended up having just a mild concussion and he gets headaches sometimes. Kaito didn't have much damage either since he died from the sickness and most of the injuries happened postmortem. He had a mild concussion, a mark from Maki's crossbow bolt like me, and he's still got a couple of bruises but he's fine otherwise. Miu and Kaede have similar neck problems. They both have a bit of trouble speaking sometimes but me, Kaede and Kirumom all know sign language so it's not that hard to communicate."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi smiled at that. Of course Kokichi would know sign language. How fitting for a supreme leader.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Speaking of Kirumom, she got out a lot better than we all expected. Most of her injuries were on her hands but she usually wears gloves so you probably won't see the scars. She does have a bit of trouble using her hands sometimes so if you see her falter with chopsticks and stuff, that's why. She also has a lot of cuts on her body but those are mostly healed now. Angie and Tenko have matching neck scars and they get a bit dizzy sometimes but that's about it for them. Gonta and Kiyo both have a lot of burn marks from their respective executions and Gonta sometimes gets chest pain but that's about it for them. Ryoma was probably the worst off after me because of the fact that he was, ya know, eaten. He's got a lot of scars and needed a couple of small skin grafts. And then there's me of course nishishi. The one with the most injuries and damage."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Is everyone healed for the most part?" Shuichi asked him. Kokichi had already assured him that he was the worst out of all of it, but he needed to prepare himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi shot him another smile, though Shuichi could tell this one was slightly forced. "Yeah everyone's fine for the most part except for me, at least physically. Everyone's mental health is a different story all together and probably not something I should say. That's their own decision if they decide to tell you, and I don't really know anyone's mental state aside from our little group. My broken bones are mostly healed but with the effects of Maki's crossbow bolt straight to the spine and the piercing phantom pains I get sometimes, it's possible I may never fully recover. But I'm okay with that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could tell that Kokichi was very much </span>
  <b>not</b>
  <span> okay with that and decided to swiftly change the subject.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you mentioned before that you Kaede and Kirumi all know sign language? And you said they're part of your little group. How did that happen exactly?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That apparently turned out to be the complete wrong thing to say as Kokichi's face immediately paled and his hands started shaking. Shuichi opened his mouth to apologize but Kokichi held a shaky hand up, signaling him to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay Shuichi you don't need to apologize. It's just...the 3 of us connected through a...less than stellar event. An event that was really hard for me and is really traumatic for me to think about." Kokichi stopped to calm himself down a bit before he looked back up to Shuichi, violet eyes meeting gold once again as Kokichi truly let down his mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>******************************************</p><p>******************************************</p><p>******************************************</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's got a bit to do with these," the smaller boy choked out, reaching towards his left arm to slowly pull up his sleeve. Shuichi gasped. Paper thin scars snaked across Kokichi's wrist and forearm, a grim reminder of the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I-" Kokichi cut him off before he could finish his sentence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Before you ask, yes they are self-inflicted both ingame and out, no I don't wanna talk about it right now that's for another time, yes I regret it and no I'm not doing it anymore. I haven't since the day of the incident. Speaking of the incident, let's get back to that now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded. Yes he was concerned but it was clear that Kokichi didn't want to talk about it. Shuichi couldn't blame him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not that I don't trust you. I trust you a lot. I think it's safe to say you went through my dorm room after I died to investigate so you saw the whiteboard, you know it's true. I know you wouldn't tell anyone and I really do want to just tell you everything that's happened since I woke up but I just can't. It's just too fresh. The only people in this world who know what happened are the 2 who witnessed it and the other 2 people they told with my permission when they realized I would need more support than just them. Even thinking about what happened makes me panic, much less saying it out loud."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If they hadn't broken into my room when they did, I wouldn't be here right now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>*******************************************</p><p>*******************************************</p><p>*******************************************</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those words felt like a bullet to Shuichi's heart as he suddenly realized what Kokichi had been implying and he wrapped the smaller boy into another crushing hug. Kokichi had been through so much, he had been so strong and even the thought of the small boy in his arms doing something like that was too much for Shuichi to handle. No wonder Kokichi had been so clingy, Shuichi really was his lifeline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then that Shuichi finally realized it. The answer to all of the questions he'd had since he arrived the previous day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew it because he was the very person that caused it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Ouma was scared of being alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi clutched Kokichi even tighter, quietly sobbing as the weight of his realization settled on his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You figured it out didn't you Shuichi? My biggest fear?" Kokichi looked up to him, his violet eyes wet with tears. Shuichi simply pulled him closer, tears streaming down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm so sorry Kokichi! I told you...I told you you'd always be alone! I'm so sorry! You'll never be alone again Kichi that's a promise. You'll never be alone, I'll stay by your side forever if I have to!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi has no clue why he said it like that, but he realized that every word of it was absolutely true. He would stay by Kokichi's side for the rest of his life if it meant Kokichi wouldn't ever be alone again. He briefly wondered why he cared so much about the smaller boy but he brushed it aside. It didn't matter right now. All that mattered was the small boy in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Th-Thank you Shumai. You have no idea how much that means to me. A-and that's the truth. Thank you so much!" Kokichi buried his face into the taller boy's chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm not alone. As long as Shuichi is here I'm not alone. What did I do to deserve this?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi quickly wiped away his tears and pulled away from Shuichi. His trademark grin was back on his face but it seemed more real this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ugh Shumai are we actually gonna do something today or are we just gonna sit on the bed and cry until we go to Miu's? You're such a bore Saihara-chan!" Shuichi smiled at him. Kokichi seemed to be in better spirits after getting everything off his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wow Shumai isn't gonna even respond to me? How ruuuuude. WAAAAHHHH SAIHARA-CHAN DOESN'T LOVE MEEEEE!" He flopped dramatically onto his back. Shuichi giggled. Yup, Kokichi was gonna be fine. Shuichi leaned over him so he could see his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Suuuure Kichi. I hate you soooo much and that's why I comforted you for the past 2 hours. Yup you're horrible!" Kokichi was shocked at Shuichi's sass but decided to play along. After all, confident Saihara was kinda hot!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wellll maybe you can make it up to me by getting me some food. I'm staarrrvviinngggg. I demand you carry your supreme leader to the kitchen immediately."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi had been expecting Shuichi to get flustered. Or maybe brush it off and grab the wheelchair. He couldn't have been more wrong though because nothing could've prepared him for what happened next.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi smirked at him and Kokichi could see the glint of mischief in his eyes. Kokichi could feel the heat rise to his face and his eyes widen as he stared at Shuichi in complete and utter shock. He let out a small squeak when Shuichi moved closer to his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hoooly shit that's really fucking sexy. Wow that's so hot. Man the way he's leaning above me right now. He's so close. I thought I was a top but that's...wow. Maybe Miu was right after all. God please if I've ever done anything good in my entire life, please do not let me pop a boner right now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi took a bit of delight in Kokichi's shocked face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So he can dish it but he can't take it. Good to know.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Shuichi had no idea where the burst of confidence had come from but he wasn't complaining. He trailed his fingers up Kokichi's chest and booped him on the nose. Kokichi let out a small gasp and Shuichi quickly shoved down the thought that it was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm straight. I'm straight. I'm straight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, I suppose if my supreme leader ordered me to, then I can't exactly say no." He swiftly scooped up the smaller boy into a bridal carry and made his way towards the kitchen, laughing when he realized Kokichi was absolutely frozen in shock in his arms, his face burning red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," Shuichi chuckled a bit. "I didn't mean to go that far. It was just really cu-funny to see you be the flustered one for once." Kokichi pretended not to notice the slip-up. His brain had enough error messages as it was, thinking about it would only make it worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi plopped the smaller boy down at the dining table while he went to the kitchen to make the 2 of them some breakfast. Kokichi watched him the entire way, not able to pull his eyes away after what had just transpired. He buried his still warm face in his hands. It had barely been a full day and Shuichi was already having this effect on him. He had no idea how he could possibly stand living with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi Saihara really was going to be the death of him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. An invitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi looked a lot more stable once he started eating the toast Shuichi had prepared for the 2 of them, the blush on his cheeks gradually beginning to fade. The taller boy felt bad for teasing Kokichi so much but the look on the smaller boy's face had been priceless, he just couldn't pass up the opportunity. He had no idea where that burst of confidence had come from but it was entertaining for sure. Nonetheless he should probably start up a conversation before things got even more awkward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So Miu's house for a sleepover tonight?" He wasn't sure if the words were more of a question or a statement. Nonetheless, he was curious about what exactly Miu had wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's eyes lit up as they met Shuichi's, all traces of embarrassment gone from his face as if the moment had never happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yup! Apparently Rantaro is planning on throwing a part for everyone in a few days so Miu recommended our little group have a sleepover so we can fill you in on some things you'll need to know before we face everyone again. As you can probably guess, those who made it later into the game still aren't too fond of me. Miu, Gonta, Kaede and Kirumi have all done a really good job at defending me, but now that everyone's out, it's gonna be even more difficult."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi shot him an understanding expression. "Because now that Maki and Himiko are back, they're going to try and convince everyone that you're dangerous. Is that what you're getting at?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi nodded, his face becoming solemn. "Exactly. I'm not too worried about Kiiboy or Tsumugi, neither of them were particularly awful to me but Murdergirl and Magician are a different story. It would be a dream come true if they both had my back, since you 3 are survivors and the others almost look up to you in a way, but I know that out of everyone it could've been, they were probably the worst 2 options to make it to see my grand plan fail. And both of them have connections. Tenko and Angie were both close to Himiko so they'll both listen to her and Kaito will listen to Maki so I'll lose what support I had from him as well. As far as protection goes, once Maki comes back..." he couldn't even finish his sentence as he choked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"...it's possible she may actually try to attack you." He nodded again, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Shuichi reached across the table to rest his hand on one of Kokichi's. The smaller boy looked up at him with a shocked expression, pink lightly dusting his cheeks as the bluenette smiled and laced their fingers together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry. As long as I'm by your side I won't let her hurt you. Or let anyone hurt you for that matter. You've been through so much already the least they can do is hear you out."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi mumbled a small thank you as Shuichi pulled his hand away. His smile returned to his face as he dug into his breakfast once more which made the taller boy chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So is there anything I should know about the others before I meet with them tonight? I already know all their injuries but is there anything else? Any topics to steer clear of?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well for starters, a general rule of thumb around any of the killing game participants is to not mention the killing game at all so you don't bring back any traumatic memories. So of course we immediately yeeted that rule out a second story window!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nearly choked on his water from the nonchalant statement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi yeah it may sound weird, but honestly, none of us really see the point in pretending it never happened. It's as much as a part of our life as any other and much like anything else, it's something we have to overcome together. Honestly none of us really mind joking around about stuff that happened as long as nobody shows any signs of discomfort. After all, if you can't laugh at your own trauma, how are you supposed to heal?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He...does have a point I suppose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Honestly I agree," Shuichi responded almost immediately. "Yes it was a horrible experience and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but you're right. We can either let it control us, or we can make the conscious decision to overcome it together."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smaller boy nodded enthusiastically before his phone buzzed again from where it lay face down on the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's Miu again," he explained, scrolling through something on the screen. "We're supposed to go over there at 5. Kirumi is making us dinner. I don't think we have any sleeping bags so she said just bring a pillow and blanket." He looked up to Shuichi with a mischievous grin on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Awww does that mean I'm not gonna be able to sleep with my beloved Shuichi again? Waaahhhh Miu's so mean!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"KOKICHI!" The taller boy shrieked, his face bright red as he attempted to look anywhere but at Kokichi's face. "D-don’t say it like that!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi! I'm just teasing you Shumai. Although if I have another nightmare, you have to give me cuddles again. Deal?" He reached out his hand for a handshake which Shuichi reluctantly shook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I mean I guess if it makes you feel more safe then I don't mind." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot Kokichi another one of his dazzling smiles and Kokichi could feel his heart rate increase as he turned back to his phone eager for a distraction from the beautiful man in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh!" He exclaimed, his head popping upwards again. "Now that I'm thinking about it, I should add you to our little group chat. After all you're my ally now!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly tapped at his screen and a few seconds later a buzzing sound eminated from Shuichi's phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>KOPS</span>
</p><p>
  <span>1:13 PM</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Supreme™ Leader</span>
  </em>
  <span> has added </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shumai &lt;3</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the chat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Supreme™ Leader</b>
  <span>: Say hi to Shuichi </span>
  <em>
    <span>@everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ultimate Penis</span>
  </em>
  <span> and 2 others are online</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ultimate Penis</b>
  <span>: Hello Shuichi! Good to hear from you again!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kirumommy</b>
  <span>: Did you not just see him yesterday Akamatsu? Also welcome back Saihara. Glad you were finally able to wake up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>BugBoy</b>
  <span>: Gonta glad Shuichi has returned from game! :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: Hi everyone! Quick question, what's with the name?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Supreme™ Leader</b>
  <span>: It stands for "Kokichi Ouma Protection Squad." I wanted to name it "D.I.C.E 2: Electric Boogaloo" but I got outvoted :(</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ultimate Penis</b>
  <span>: I thought it was funny but I can't say no to Gonta. He's just too pure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>BugBoy</b>
  <span>: Thank you Kaede! You are very kind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>xX69Cumslut69Xx is online</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: YOOOO Succihara you're finally back! It's about fucking time!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: ...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: COCKITCHY!!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Supreme™ Leader</b>
  <span>: Nishishi what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN YOU FAILED ABORTION!!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Supreme™ Leader</b>
  <span>: Consider it my revenge for you interrupting my cuddle time with my beloved Shumai this morning &gt;:)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: KOKICHI!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: WAIT WHAT SPILL THE TEA SIS WHAT HAPPENED!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: NOTHING HAPPENED I SWEAR</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: He was having a nightmare so I woke him up from it and stayed with him until morning to make sure he was okay. That's it I swear!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ultimate Penis</b>
  <span>: Ya know Shuichi you're acting quite defensive. Could it be that you enjoyed yourself? ;)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: I never said I didn't enjoy it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shumai &lt;3</span>
  </em>
  <span> has deleted 1 message(s)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shumai &lt;3</b>
  <span>: I'll see you guys later at Miu's. I'm really excited you see you all again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shumai &lt;3</span>
  </em>
  <span> is offline</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: Aww dang and it was just getting interesting too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>xX69Cumslut69Xx</b>
  <span>: Anyways I'll see you guys later. I've got a lot of fun shit planned so don't you dare be late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>xX69Cumslut69Xx</span>
  </em>
  <span> is offline</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kirumommy</span>
  </em>
  <span> and 3 others are offline</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi looked up from his phone to see an extremely red Shuichi, his face buried in his hands as he groaned softly, which made Kokichi giggle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Peek-a-boo Shumai," he cooed, reaching out to peel the taller boy's hands away from his face. "Come on Shuu-chan let me see your pretty face."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I cannot believe you told them that," Shuichi mumbled, trying his best to fight the hands threatening to break his protective wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They would've found out eventually. All of them know we live together anyways so they would've found out eventually. They all know about my nightmares too. They are however the only ones who know so don't go spilling all my secrets to everyone okay Shumai? Or I'll have to kill you and I really don't wanna have to do that nishishi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So!" Shuichi responded, glancing at his phone as he checked the time. </span>
  <em>
    <span>11:03 AM</span>
  </em>
  <span>. "What should we do for the next couple of hours? Maybe we should go shopping? There's a big grocery store just down the street. We don't really have that much food here aside from the stuff they provided us with."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could see the sparkle in Kokichi's eyes at his questions, the smaller boy bouncing in his seat as he nodded his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah Shumai let's go shopping! I'm already tired of toast. It's not enough sustenance. I'm dying Saihara-chan! We need to go buy some Panta before I waste away!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi giggled a bit as he helped his roommate up from his seat and into his wheelchair. "Sure Kokichi. Cmon lets go get dressed."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Recognized?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In no time at all, the 2 boys were dressed and ready to go get some actual food other than bread and butter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi had insisted on leaving the wheelchair behind, which concerned Shuichi but Kokichi clearly had other ideas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How can I expect to walk better if I never walk Shumai?" The smaller boy prompted. "I brought my collapsible crutches with me just in case." He gestured to the small bag slung over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked a little closer to Shuichi, staring into his golden eyes before booping the taller boy's nose with his finger. "Though if I were to fall, I hope my beloved Shumai will be there to catch me in his big strong arms," the smaller boy teased before sauntering out of the apartment, Shuichi following him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With their hoods up to try and avoid being recognized, the 2 boys entered the nearest store. Kokichi immediately made a beeline for the soda aisle, grabbing case after case of grape Panta before he suddenly froze, staring at the sodas as if he wanted to punch them. He let out a long sigh before turning towards Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I knew they were gonna do this. I would've been surprised if they didn't. God I hope this stops soon." Shuichi looked at him with a puzzled expression and Kokichi simply pointed towards the labels on the bottles as he continued down the aisle with their shopping cart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn't take very long to figure out what had made Kokichi so upset. There on the label of the purple bottle was a picture of Kokichi himself, a creepy sneer on his face as a tattered cape billowed behind him. He turned his attention towards the small print at the bottom of the label.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Panta is a proud sponsor of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony. Airing November 3rd.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough as Shuichi looked around at the other Panta flavors, he was met with a small picture of several of his friends. He didn't even look at the shelf stocking blue raspberry. He couldn't deal with that right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuuiiichiiiii," a small voice whined out from down the aisle, causing the detective to pull his eyes away from the sodas. He was met with a pouting Kokichi standing on his tiptoes as he tried to reach towards something on a higher shelf.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi chuckled to himself before running over to help his roommate, not even bothering to hold back his laughter at the sight of Kokichi's cute pouty face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The 2 boys continued through the store grabbing probably way more than was really necessary but hey, they were rich now! Might as well use that Danganronpa money on good food right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi had to admit, it was really fun hanging out with Kokichi, even if they were just walking through a grocery store. He found himself easily carrying conversation after conversation with the smaller boy. He was constantly cracking jokes and making ridiculous observations about the other shoppers (See that woman over there Shumai? Her name is Nancy and she's an evil lawyer who cheated on her husband with her daughter's boyfriend! Isn't that scandalous?). Shuichi could safely say he couldn't remember having so much fun in a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was, until they got to the checkout.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay sir that'll be $244.52," the man at the checkout counter said as Kokichi tried to shove all their purchases into the least amount of bags as humanly possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without even thinking, Shuichi pulled out his debit card from Team Danganronpa and swiped it. He looked up just in time to see the cashier's eyes widening as he slipped his card back into his wallet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was at this moment Shuichi knew, he fucked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cashier's eyes grew even wider when his eyes trained on Kokichi, who had finished bagging their groceries and looked towards Shuichi with a panicked expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"YOU GUYS ARE-" was all the man could get out before Kokichi slapped his hand over top of his mouth, glancing around in a panic to see if any other shoppers had witnessed their commotion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he had checked to make sure the coast was clear, Kokichi slowly removed his hand from the cashier's mouth, sending him a death glare practically daring him to expose them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," the man squeaked out. "I was just surprised to see you 2 out and about so soon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man chuckled when he saw the boys' confused faces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Name is Ren Miyamoto. Ultimate Interpreter of Danganronpa 47. Pleased to meet your acquaintance."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This of course only made Shuichi and Kokichi more confused which only made the man laugh more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Previous participants are given the opportunity to stay updated on events transpiring in new games. It's a way to kind of make sure the new survivors have a support system to fall back on if they need one. Since we all have similar experiences, knowing a person's possible trauma and triggers gives us the best idea of how to calm someone down in case of an emergency situation in public."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you know everything about us then?" Kokichi asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well not everything obviously. Only the events that transpired during your simulation. Though the details get fuzzy after the 5th execution. We were told you guys had figured out the mastermind and next thing we know, you guys were all released from the hospital. That's never happened before."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wh-What do you mean?" Shuichi stuttered out, growing nervous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well you see most of the time if the mastermind is found when more than 2 people are still alive, 2 are chosen to be the true winners and the rest get executed. But we received no information about who survived and who died in that last trial. And usually the survivors are kept for several weeks to mentally recover and fill out paperwork for publicity like promo pictures and interviews. Nobody even knows how you guys managed to leave the simulation as the only ways to wake up from it are either by dying or being pulled out by an administrator. We're all in the dark about everything. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, what the hell happened in there?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't even have a response to that question. What reason would Team Danganronpa have of hiding what had happened? Were they embarrassed? How could he even begin to explain what had happened in that final trial? Luckily he was saved by a small voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nishishi~ Saihara-chan basically beat those guys at their own game. I don't know the whole story of what went down but it was definitely big. With any luck, Danganronpa is over for good."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man let out a sigh of relief, looking between the 2 boys with a small smile before resting his eyes on Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, whatever happened in there, thank you kiddo. And I mean that on behalf of every participant. This sick game has gone on for long enough. Maybe now all of us can finally get a bit of closure."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled out a small card from his pocket and handed it to Shuichi. It seemed to be a business card of some sort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ren Miyamoto</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"Ultimate Interpreter" of Danganronpa 47</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(xxx) xxx-xxxx</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If you ever need anything from me or any other survivors, feel free to call me anytime okay boys? It was nice meeting you both! Hopefully I'll see you guys around!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The 2 boys waved goodbye and picked up all their purchases before leaving the store. It was of course at that moment that they both realized just how much they had bought. It would be nearly impossible to carry it all home, especially with Kokichi's body in its current condition.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as Shuichi turned to Kokichi to voice this concern however, he saw the smaller boy's face light up with excitement, as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I've got an idea! Wait right here Shumai I'll be back in 2 minutes tops!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that the smaller boy sped around the corner, one hand clutched tightly on his hood to prevent it from falling down and exposing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, 1 minute and 32 seconds later, Kokichi peeked his head around the street corner. He had the most obnoxious smile on his face as he giggled to catch Shuichi's full attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuuuumai look what I brought us!" He cooed at the taller boy. When he saw Shuichi's confused expression he smiled even more and disappeared back around the corner. Shuichi heard the sound of wheels as Kokichi reappeared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Posing like a model.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On a massive luggage cart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't even try to hold back his laughter as the smaller boy dismounted from his new vehicle and started loading the plastic bags onto it. By the time he finally composed himself, the bags were all loaded and Kokichi was hanging from the side of the cart as if he were in an extremely low budget production of Singin In The Rain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," Shuichi sputtered out, still trying to catch his breath. "Where the hell did you get that?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Stole it from the 5 star hotel down the street," he replied nonchalantly, inspecting his fingernails with a smug expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi shot him a playful glare, which made the smaller boy chuckle. "Oh come oooonnnn Shumai I'm obviously gonna give it back when we're done. I only steal from people who deserve it. What kind of leader would I be if I don't even follow the rules of my own orga-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He suddenly trailed off without finishing his sentence, eyes growing slightly misty as he reached towards his neck, as if to grab at something that was no longer there. Shuichi could've even sworn he saw a small tear run down his friend's cheek. Suddenly he felt as if he were intruding on a private moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"K-Kokichi?" The smaller boy's head snapped back as if he were just now realizing he wasn't alone. The hand gripping the strings on his hoodie fell to his side as he stepped off the cart with a flourish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nevermind me Shumai! Let's get these groceries back home hmm?" He turned his back on his roommate and grabbed the side of the luggage cart before walking away, the cart clattering behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don't ask. Please don't ask</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he pleaded silently.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I'm not ready to talk about them yet. Please Shumai don't ask.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Luckily the taller boy seemed to get the hint as he grabbed onto the cart as well, hand placed directly above Kokichi's as they walked side by side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know what you were going to say," He muttered softly, looking towards his roommate with a caring expression. "I'm not going to force you to talk about them but I can tell you're hurting and I don't want you to bottle your emotions too much okay? It's not good for your mental health. When you're ready to talk..."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid his hand down so it was on top of Kokichi's, giving the smaller boy a reassuring squeeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"...I'll be here to listen."</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Shuichi."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi kept true to his promise not to pry about what happened, which Kokichi was very thankful for. Even after the 2 of them were back in the safety of the apartment and the luggage cart had been returned to the hotel with many apologies from the taller boy, the taller boy kept his words to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could tell Kokichi was still deep in his thoughts as they put away the groceries in a comfortable silence. His eyes were unfocused as he picked up another bag, his body seemingly on autopilot as his mind wandered elsewhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were no tears, no shaking like many of Kokichi's other breakdowns he had witnessed since leaving DR HQ, just a blank stare and a slight frown, eyes dull and devoid of their usual sparkle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somehow it was even worse to watch than his usual breakdowns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi of course knew that Shuichi was watching him. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. He was pretty much completely recovered from his little panic, but he couldn't focus on the task at hand when he saw those beautiful golden eyes filled with worry. He was relieved when Shuichi's phone chimed and the detective's attention was diverted away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who was that Shumai?" He asked, using the opportunity to wrap his arms around Shuichi's neck from behind, hopping onto the taller boy's back to get a glance at his messages. His roommate simply gave him a fond smile and ruffled his hair, glad to see he was back to his normal self.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh it's just my parents. We've been trying to find a time and place that I can meet them but since I'm so easily recognizable we haven't been able to figure something out. They're both free tomorrow after we get back from Miu's, but finding a place is the real issue."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why don't you just bring them here then?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You'd be okay with that? I know you're not exactly fond of strangers." Kokichi hopped off his back to talk to him face to face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not like they're strangers per say. They're your parents for crying out loud! And due to my memories and the fact we've apparently known each other since we were in diapers, they're probably basically my parents too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That made Shuichi pause for a second. "What do you mean by due to your memories?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi froze and his eyes widened as if he hadn't even realized what he had said until then. Shuichi was about to open his mouth and take it back but Kokichi held up a hand for him to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't have any family Shuichi. At least not in this set of memories." His gaze turned toward the floor, a sad look in his piercing purple eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My parents died when I was really little and I spent most of my life in an orphanage. That's where I met...my new family..." His voice trailed off as he reached up toward his neck again, grasping something that was no longer there. Shuichi gasped as he saw a few tears escape his friend's eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Anyway," Kokichi continued, reaching up to wipe away the escaped tears before plastering another fake smile on his face. "Something tells me I'm not just an orphan in this set of memories. I can't find any information on my parents and I didn't see any contacts belonging to them in my phone. If I'm right, then your parents are the closest thing to family that I have left."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up at Shuichi, his purple eyes still misty with small tears. "So I want to meet them too Shuichi. If I do still have family left then they'll know where I can find them. And if I don't, well then they're all I have and I'll just have to marry you and force my way into the family myself!" He grinned and giggled at Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Besides, there's something I've been wondering about for a while now and if my hunch is right then I think they'll have the answer I'm looking for."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh?" Shuichi raised an eyebrow at him, his brain going full on detective mode at the possibility of a mystery.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's really nothing important." That only made the detective more curious as he watched a slight blush rise onto Kokichi's cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're blushing," he replied, smirking slightly and taking a small step towards his roommate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You are."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No I'm not."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes you-" He was cut off when the smaller boy grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down until their faces were level and only inches apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi could feel his face burning as Kokichi stared at him with those big purple eyes filled with mischief. He smirked and leaned even closer to whisper in the taller boy's ear, soft lips lightly brushing his earlobe which nearly made him gasp out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And now we're even Saihara-chan."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let go of Shuichi with a wink, sauntering over to the abandoned bags of groceries to continue putting them away as if nothing had just happened. Meanwhile Shuichi stood completely frozen and as red as a tomato, questioning if what just happened had really just happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Little did he know Kokichi was thinking the exact same thing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my god what on earth did I just do?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought to himself, trying to force the blush from his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did I do that? We were so close if I had just gone a few more inches closer we would've...</span>
  </em>
  <span> He buried his face in his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nope nope nope Kokichi you are not going to think of that. No thinking about how pretty his lips are and how much you want to kiss him. No thinking about that well fuck now I'm thinking about it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He returned to putting the groceries away, giggling slightly when he realized Shuichi was still frozen solid. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You aren't ready for that anyway. You just moved out of the hospital and it's barely been 2 days since you met again. Neither of you are ready for that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Besides, why would he ever want you?</span>
  </em>
  <span> The box he was holding fell from his hands and clattered to the floor. He briefly registered the sound of his name being spoken but his thoughts overpowered his surroundings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He's straight and even if he wasn't, just look at yourself. You're pathetic, broken. A worthless liar and nothing more. Why would he ever want to be with you? He's just here out of pity. He hates you just like everyone else. This is probably all just some big prank. After all, you're alone and you always will b-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He flinched and broke out of his thoughts when a pair of warm arms snaked around his waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for startling you," a soft voice spoke into his shoulder. "You weren't responding and I couldn't think of any other way to snap you out of it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly turned around and buried his face in Shuichi's chest, taking ragged breaths as the taller boy rubbed circles on his back. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi put a finger underneath his chin, tilting his head up slightly to look him in the eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for Kichi," he said softly, his smile full of warmth and adoration. "It's not your fault." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The taller boy didn't even seem to notice how he bent down to place a soft kiss on the top of Kokichi's head, as if some instinct had taken over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi absolutely did notice, burying his face in Shuichi's chest once again to hide his red face, snuggling into the warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi chuckled, and Kokichi could feel the vibrations of his chest against his face. He sighed when he felt Shuichi's fingers softly stroking the hair at the base of his neck, which made the taller boy laugh even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"God you're like a snuggly little cat Kokichi." Kokichi nearly whimpered when Shuichi pulled away from the hug, realization painted all over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're touch starved aren't you? That's why you’ve been so cuddly isn’t it" His voice was so soft it sent shivers down Kokichi's spine. He looked at the ground, determined not to look Shuichi in the eyes as he slowly nodded his head, embarrassment clear on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The others have offered hugs and stuff obviously," he stuttered out. "But you know how I am when it comes to trust and...everything like that. You...for some reason, you feel safer."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt warm hands wrap around his own and looked back up at Shuichi's soft smile, his cheeks still flushed with embarrassment. "It's okay you know," Shuichi said softly, a hand reaching to cup the smaller boy's pink cheek. "I'm not annoyed by it. If you ever need a hug I'm always here okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God how are you so fucking perfect?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"C-Can I have one now?" He hated the way he stuttered but showing so many emotions was new and scary territory. He wanted to trust Shuichi, he really did, but it would take a lot longer than 2 days to fully break down those walls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just smiled and opened his arms wide in invitation. He let out a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>oof</span>
  </em>
  <span> when Kokichi practically fell into him, melting in his embrace. As if by instinct, one of Shuichi's hands was back in his hair, long slender fingers stroking each purple strand carefully as if they were fragile artifacts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We still have about 2 hours until we need to leave for Miu's," Shuichi stated after a few minutes. "How about I get us a snack and we can relax for a bit before we go?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Kokichi hum in agreement against his chest, before he slowly pulled away from the hug, stumbling over to the living room and flopping onto the couch like a rag doll. Shuichi couldn't help but laugh at that, and Kokichi soon found himself laughing as well, sitting up to look at the taller boy, purple hair fluffy with static electricity. The smaller boy grinned and stuck out his tongue before throwing a blanket around himself and plopping back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cute</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi mentally slapped himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, he's not. He's just a friend. Besides, even if it were something more,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he looked over to where Kokichi was flipping through channels. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You aren't supposed to like boys like that anyway. Remember what your parents taught you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook the memories out of his head as he poured some chips into a bowl and made his way over to the couch to sit down next to his roommate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed the bowl of chips gently on his lap as Kokichi curled up against his side. Kokichi had put on some cutesy cartoon he seemed excited to watch, but Shuichi could tell from the drooping of his eyes that he most likely wouldn’t stay awake long enough to watch it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, after about 10 minutes, Kokichi had completely relaxed against Shuichi’s side, head resting on the taller boy’s chest. His small body was warm compared to Shuichi’s and every so often he would nuzzle his face against Shuichi’s chest, sighing happily in his sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before Shuichi found his own eyes closing, drifting off easily in the comfort of Kokichi’s presence.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oops I haven’t updated in a month. Life sucks sometimes. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter.</p><p>I’m also excited to announce that I will be a part of the Spilled Ink DRV3 writing zine so feel free to check out the tumblr for that! I’ll be writing a Shirotojo coffee shop AU! Hopefully it won’t take me a month to update this fic again</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Decided to finally post my ongoing fic here as well since it was only on Wattpad before. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you guys think!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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